One type of microagression I observed this week on a few different occasions was at work. I have a co-worker (male) who is less than polite to his female co-workers. He will demand information from us or not speak at all. I even noticed how he seems to puff out his chest when he talks to females; I can’t tell if he is trying to make himself look stronger or what. However, when it comes to exchanges between him and the other males, his demeanor is more relaxed and friendlier. At first, I did not catch on to his attitude and behavior and I honestly ignored it. I would call him out on being rude from time to time by saying, “Hey, the the least you could do is greet me before you start rattling off a list of things you need from me.” He would laugh it off and apologize for it but the next day, do the same thing. But this type of microagression annoys me. However, I realize that his behavior is taught. I am not his boss but I do serve as what you may call a mentor and I do my best to be open and honest with him about the things he does and says. I guess this is my small way of attempting to reverse the things he has been taught but I know it will take some patience on my part.
My observations this week have taught me that discrimination, prejudice and stereotypes are all taught. In each of these instances, someone had to teach an impressionable individual how to discriminate or harbor the feeling that they have. For example, little boys do not know to disrespect women until someone shows them that they can get away with it (at least sometimes). And from working with children of all ages, I can guarantee you that young children do not care about the color of the skin of their peers. They may express interest in or show curiosity when someone does not look like them, but they do not know to treat people differently because of those differences.
Alvia,
ReplyDeleteI love that you spoke on classism, and your experience with your coworker. He seems to have some definite preconceived notions on gender roles, or at least the way he interacts based on gender. Kind of like a strong man complex. Is he single? Maybe he thinks this puffing chest behavior will attract woman, like many bird species. :) I am glad you are there to be honest and this will hopefully impact some of his behavior in the future. I agree that these things are all taught, but that they can also be rewired and retaught appropriately.
Thank you for sharing,
Allison Giles
Alvia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your post, I believe we are put in front of some people so we can teach them a thing or two. As you address the issue in a respectful matter of course, you might be teaching him a lesson that will last a lifetime and he can tech his children and generations to come on how to be respectful to women. I have had my fair share of rude men at the workplace but I am definitely the one to give anybody a lesson in manners.
Thanks for sharing
Paola
Alivia,
ReplyDeleteI like how you turned a negative into a positive. You realize that this gentleman while he may have a personality type, you still model appropriate behavior. It's clear that you're experiencing microaggression based off of the environment. Seems he has a sexist discrimination towards woman. I guess my question would be is he like that towards all woman, it would almost be interesting to hear what his back story is. As Dr. Sue mentioned in the video cluo, it's almost a Catch - 22. You can be insulted and have some conflict or you can do what you're doing and model appropriate behavior.
Keep doing what you're doing. I believe that he will get what he needs. :)
Good luck!
-Krissy