Each relationships and partnership that I am involved in are very important to me. I value each of those relationships because I feel that by interacting with others alone, we learn a lot about ourselves. Healthy relationships can energize and enlighten and each relationship is unique. While I believe that most relationships are meant to be symbiotic and the benefits are mutual, there are also some relationships that are meant to pour into us, and there are relationships where we pour into them. Personally, I believe that the best relationships are the ones that give without expecting anything in return.
Relationships That Stand Out
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One of the most important relationships to me is the one that I have with my daughter. I pour into her daily, I show and tell her how much I love her, I spend time with her and I make sacrifices for her. I personally don’t want or expect anything in return; I just want to give her the tools to be the best person she can be in all areas in her life and know that no matter where life may take her, she will always have me in her corner.
Another important relationship I have is with my best friend. We only met a few years ago, but I feel like we have known each other our whole lives. Our relationship is valuable to me because she is one person who will ‘keep me in line’ so to speak. If I am wrong on something, she will tell me and it comes from a place of love, not scrutiny. I appreciated that and I do the same for her. We don’t have to speak every day, or even every week but when we do, we pick back up where we left off!
Insights
One of the most important lessons I have learned over time is that in order to maintain healthy relationships with anyone (personal or professional), I have to be myself. When I was younger, I thought that I had to be like my friends and pretend that I liked the things that they liked. As I got older, I realized how uncomfortable it is to always to pretend to be something I’m not so I decided to be myself, speak up for myself and LOVE myself. I couldn’t be happier and this revelation also helped me to realize that ultimately, the MOST important relationship in my life is the relationship that I have with myself.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
Some of the characteristics that I’ve noted in healthy relationships in my life are honest, availability and transparency. It’s not perfection, money or status.
Healthy Relationships in my Career
My relationships with my daughter, friends, colleagues, the like and myself will carry over into my experiences with the families that I serve throughout my career. I will carry transparency and honesty with me wherever I go, especially in my career. These traits are just as important when working with children and their families. I believe we do no favors to the people we serve when we do not openly communicate with them and provide important information about their children and their development. Transparency is important because oftentimes, families may feel intimidated by administrators or caregivers. As childcare professionals, I believe it is important to be an open book (where appropriate).
Alvia,
ReplyDeleteThe "Insights" part of your blog really hit home for me. I remember while growing up (and being so self-conscious) that I tried so hard to be like everyone else in order to fit in. And that followed me somewhat throughout my later years. There's a song by Gary Allen called Pieces and part of the song really made me stop and think:
"I gave a lot to lovers, I gave a lot to friends. But everything I took from them made me who I am."
I related to this immediately- because I realized that I am who I am now, due to the relationships I hold with the important people in my life. But it's also concerning, because i then realized I didn't know who I was- or what my personality was really like because I have been so influenced by the people in my life. It's one of the reasons I moved 3000 miles away... I felt like it was the only way to really figure out who I am and begin to build that relationship with myself.
Thank you for being so open in your post and sharing with us.
Alvia! I enjoyed reading your post! I think as young children we all went through that phase of wanting to be like someone. I can vividly remember as a young child getting in trouble with my mom for "following the crowd," I was the child wanting to please everyone and wanted everyone to like me. However; as you mentioned, when you grow up a light shines and you start to evaluate the different relationships you have and their purpose in your life. I love how you describe your relationship with your daughter as "valuable," I often wonder what type of parent I will be to my children. My mom and I did not have a really close relationship when I was younger, but as I went through college and moved back home she is now my best friend and I am very protective of her. She was always an amazing mother to my sister and I but of course as a teenager I did not think so because she had rules. Keep building that relationship with your daughter, she will be an amazing woman one day due to the values you have instill in her.
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