Shhhh! Don't Say That!

Once, my daughter and I were in Target and there was a man in the same aisle as us who was obese.  She was about 4 at the time and said to me, "Mom, that man is really big."  With wide eyes, I said, "Laila!  Shhhhhhh don't say that, that's rude.  He is overweight but he doesn't need anyone to point it out to him."  Once we got into the car, I told her that what she said was absolutely true but it was not necessary to point it out and may hurt his feelings if he overheard us.

The message I was trying to convey to her was to be politically correct and consider the feelings of others.  Whether or not that 's the message she received is up for question.  Had I been thinking with the mindset of an anti-bias educator at the time, I would have said something like, "Yes, he is what we would call overweight.  Some people are really big, some are small, some are short.  However, we have to be mindful of the things we say.  What if his feelings got hurt from hearing you say that."  Then, depending on the age group (because I am used to working with older kids), I would ask them to consider their own insecurities and how they would feel if people pointed them out!  For smaller children, I would incorporate books about body positivity and promoting confidence, making sure to include books with plenty of pictures.