Evolution of Communication

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?  If yes, in what way do you communicate differently?

I used to communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures when I was younger and just starting out with my career.  I felt that I could be “myself” when I was around other people who looked and already talked like me.  However, when I was around managers or my colleagues who did not share my same background, I would change the way I talked (less slang).  The funny thing is I felt I could never please anyone!  I feared that if I were myself (basically, I used a little bit of slang, I talk with a southern accent and I can slouch sometimes), I would not be seen as professional.  When my peers would see me use proper grammar and try to not talk with such a southern drawl, they would make fun (not in an intentionally mean way) and tell me I was “acting white”, as if using proper grammar was a non-black trait. Today, I am myself.  I talk proudly with my southern accent (that I can’t even hear to be honest) and I don’t always sound like a walking APA format reference.  And in doing so, I realize people like and appreciate me just the way I am!

Three strategies that I believe would be more helpful in my communication are:

1.  More face-to-face communication.  We have all gotten so comfortable with emails and texts but sometimes, communication in person is necessary.  I can recall many times I have sent a text and the whole intent of my message was perceived wrong.  Had the same message been communicated in person, the individual on the receiving end may have taken the message differently.

2.  Being aware of who I am talking to at the moment.  If I am communicating with friends or family, I know that I can be a little more relaxed in my communication.  However, in a more professional setting, I need to really be mindful of who I am talking to, what I am saying, and how the message will come across.  The other day at work, a friend who of mine who is a classroom teacher brought a situation to me about one of the kids in her class.  She was uncomfortable talking to the parent about something the child had done and wanted me to sit in with her while she spoke to his mom over the phone, just to make sure she had a witness: apparently, there have been some issues with this child and she wanted to protect herself.  At that moment, the mom walked in and she pulled her aside and asked me to come into the office as well.  During the exchange, we both had to relay how serious the matter was while communicating  that we were there to help him and her as well.  We were also cognizant that she was pulled into a conference with someone she had never met or talked to before (me) so the conversation was very delicate.  Mom was shocked by her child's behavior but was comfortable with the way we handled the situation.

3.  Ask questions.  When communicating with others, I feel it's necessary to ask questions (what do you think, is that ok with you, how can we come up with a good solution to solve this) based on the conversation.  This will show them that their thoughts and opinions matter.